It’s been a while since we’ve made time to update everyone with the happenings on the Achen front. It’s been a roller coaster to say the least. However, we figured it was time to let you in on what’s happened since the last time we posted. I know this is a travel blog temporarily turned fertility blog. I promise to get back to posting about travel soon, so hang in there.

In the fall of 2016 we wrote about the direction our family was headed and our quest to grow our family. We knew it wasn’t possible for me to carry another baby, but we knew that having someone else be a gestational carrier for us might be an option. We weren’t sure how or when we would find someone, but we decided to do what we could do to start the process on our end. We reached out to the nearest fertility specialist at the time in El Paso, TX, only to be told that the doctor would not even talk to us because he didn’t “deal” with surrogacy. So we started looking at options in Albuquerque. We had received a referral to an older doctor in Albuquerque, so we gave them a call and our call was not answered. So finally, I reached out to a friend I knew had successfully done IVF (in vitro fertilization) who highly recommended a different doctor in Albuquerque, who turned out to be amazing and the only board certified fertility specialist in the state of New Mexico.

We made the three hour trip up to Albuquerque to meet with Dr. Lee Caperton at the Caperton Fertility Institute. We weren’t sure what he would have to say or if I’d even be a candidate for IVF. We knew that I still had ovaries, but we weren’t sure if there would be too much damage from all of the previous issues I’d faced (see previous blog post). However, Dr. C walked into that waiting room where we had been nervously waiting, confidently shook our hands and walked us back into his office where we talked about options and after a quick exam were told that we were good to go! Woo hoo! So we did.

The egg retrieval part of the IVF process was a little taxing, involving giving myself injections (not a fan of needles) or Scott giving me injections (if you know clumsy Scott, you feel my pain). We decided to spend the two weeks leading up to the egg retrieval in a hotel up in Albuquerque to make getting to doctor appointments easier and because we like to travel. 🙂

Side note: Funny Story. So our first night in Albuquerque we checked into the hotel fairly late at night only to realize we had brought everything except all of the syringes to do my injections. So as Scott is frantically calling local pharmacies trying to get needles, Liam randomly projectile vomits all over me, himself and his bed in the hotel room. Needless to say, we were off to a rough start. I’m pretty sure I was crying cleaning up the mess while Scott was driving to every 24 hour pharmacy in the middle of the night trying to get needles within the time frame that I had to have my shot. It was terrible when it happened, but really funny now looking back on it. Liam was fine the next morning, we got the needle, and everything worked out.

We went in on egg retrieval day praying for the best, but I knew it was going to all work out when Dr. C put some Patsy Cline on for me to listen to during the procedure. Scott got to watch a screen in the room next door of the embryologist doing her magic.

 

The next few days, weeks, and months were a waiting game. Waiting to find out how many of our eggs fertilized, how many made it to blastocysts, how many embryos were genetically healthy. Then it turned into a waiting game of when will we find the right person to carry our baby.

Immediately after the last post was made we were overwhelmed with offers of people who were willing to carry a baby for us. Some were genuine, some were not, some were good intentions that couldn’t be fulfilled, and some were just a little weird (including nude photos…long story). People we hadn’t seen in years, people we hardly knew, people we didn’t know at all, and people we knew too well reached out to us. We went through several months of up and down heart wrenching trials of trying to find the right person. We had people offer who weren’t serious at all…frustrating. We had people lie to us about their medical history, which luckily was caught in a medical screening…frustrating. We had people whom we love dearly want so badly to help us out, but ultimately changed their mind…heart wrenching. When we finally thought we had found the perfect person to carry our baby and started the process, only to have them change their mind, we were devastated. In their defense, it is a really big commitment and we understood but were still heartbroken. Just when we felt like giving up hope, God sent us the perfect person at the perfect time. She came to us and had been praying about it, done her research, and gave it plenty of thought. She had an excellent husband on board as a support system and was fully invested in helping us out of the goodness of her heart. You don’t come across people that selfless everyday. We were overjoyed.

Then started the long journey to having a baby. The following months were filled with blood, sweat, and tears…literally…BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS. We put countless hours in at the gym to be the healthiest for the best chance at making a baby. We put hundreds of miles on my car and so many hours of road tripping up to see Dr. C in preparation of an embryo transfer. Late nights driving across town to stick my sweet friend with a needle when she couldn’t reach or didn’t have it in her to stick herself with a giant needle one more time. We laughed really hard. We cried really hard. We ultimately built a bond that I never could have imagined.

 

We weren’t sure the transfer would be successful, but we had faith in Dr. Caperton’s abilities and ultimately we had faith in God. A couple weeks later when we got the call that it had worked, we were in church and literally dropped to our knees weeping. It was one of the happiest days of our lives.

The following months would be no less of a trial. We had a few scares, a few ER visits, and countless sleepless nights. A few days before Christmas we had a scare where we thought there may have been a miscarriage. Dr. Caperton drove all the way from Albuquerque to his newly opened El Paso office on a snowy morning just to meet us and make sure everything was okay…and it was. Again, another one of the happiest days of our lives. You see a trend here? 🙂

Well, after 9 long months of waiting, we finally got the call that our sweet baby girl was ready to meet us. We spent 21 LONG hours of pacing the halls of the labor and delivery ward of the hospital until the moment came. We gowned up and headed into the delivery room where I got to help deliver our sweet baby girl and Scott got to cut the cord, and at 6 o’clock on a Sunday evening, we finally got to hold that sweet 7lbs 11oz baby in our arms! We instantly fell in love with Mila Jolie Achen. We immediately began bonding to make up for the nine months that I didn’t get to hold her. It was especially wonderful thanks to the beauty of induced lactation (shout out to Kim Smetzer at Mountain View Hospital for her expertise on this matter) which took lots of work leading up to that moment, but totally worth every minute. Over the next few days we bonded with our little Mila Jolie in the hospital (coincidentally in the same room we spent weeks in during the whole ordeal after Liam was born) while a few doors down Mila’s womb-mate recovered. The L&D nurses at Mountain View were absolutely amazing. We were all so well taken care of.

Since we’ve been home, we are adjusting well and Liam is super excited to have his “little, tiny baby” as he likes to call her. There is a sense of completeness in our house and in our hearts and Scott has already started planning our first few trips as a family of four!

Thanks to Brittany Miller Photography for capturing amazing images of our beautiful babies and our family of four!

 

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”
1 Samuel 1:27

(Just a heads up, parts of this post may be a little graphic but worth the read.)

Hi friends, family, and followers,

We are embarking on a new adventure, but this time it’s going to be a little different than our last big adventure.  It’s definitely been a while since we’ve shared a blog post…February of 2014 to be exact.  To say the least, we’ve been busy.

What I’m about to share with you, is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to put into words.  It’s very personal, somewhat heartbreaking, and joyful at the same time.  We contemplated how, when, and whom we would share this with, but now seemed like the right time.  So please bear with the long post and we just ask for your prayers, support, and any kind thoughts.  However, in order for you to understand the path we’re headed down, we first have to explain a little (or a lot) about the past and what we’ve been through since our last post in 2014.

In 2013 we decided we wanted a different lifestyle, one that would allow us to travel, explore, and most importantly allow us to grow our family when we were ready.  So if you’ve followed the blog, you’ve read and seen all of the adventures that our trip around the world took us on.  What you didn’t see was what happened when we came home at the end of our trip.

Just a couple weeks after we returned home from our big adventure, we found out that I was pregnant.  We were going to be a family of 3! We were both over the moon and terrified at the same time.  The first couple months of the pregnancy were easier than we anticipated with just a little morning sickness and lots of naps…and that’s where the easy part ended.  From three months on, my pregnancy turned into a nightmare including lots of complications; placenta previa, a terrifying trip to the emergency room where we thought we miscarried, a bicornuate uterus that lead to lots and lots of trips to the emergency room in the middle of the night to get shots and medications to stop me from going into pre-term labor.  It was not an easy pregnancy by any means, but it didn’t matter, because we were so blessed to be having a baby.

The day finally came when I woke up at 4:00 in the morning and went into full on labor.  I labored for about 12 hours with coupled contractions and after 3 hours of pushing, we were rushed into a C-section because the baby was face up and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid.  On September 8th of 2014 at 4:33PM, Liam Bradley Achen made his first appearance weighing in at a whopping 8lbs 9.8oz and 22 inches long!  He was perfect and healthy and Scott got to watch the entire operation (I don’t know how he watched it all, but he did).  We were so blessed to finally be able to hold this little miracle!

Shortly after the c-section I spiked a fever and had indications of an infection.  I was so happy, yet so miserable at the same time.  Scott got to escort Liam to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to be checked out while I got sewn back together.  That first night in the hospital was miserable…joyful, but miserable.

We spent a couple days in the hospital and then we were on our way home with our new baby boy.  The first couple weeks at home were rough and we didn’t get much sleep and I was in a lot of pain from the c-section, but we thought it was to be expected.

When Liam was 10 days old, we took him to have newborn pictures taken by our good friend Kathy at Brooks Photography.  I didn’t feel well that day.  I felt exhausted and still in a lot of discomfort, but we were so excited to be getting these photographs taken. I toughed through that whole day.

That night, the baby was fast asleep in his crib and so was Scott.  I woke up and just didn’t feel right.  I got up to go to the bathroom and started to bleed profusely.  Scott rushed us to the emergency room in the middle of the night, where I continued to hemorrhage for over 4 hours in an emergency room bed until we were seen by a doctor.  By the time the doctor came to see us, I had lost so much blood that I was in need of a transfusion and was admitted.  At first the doctors thought it was due to the infection I had experienced just after Liam’s birth, so I was put on antibiotics for a couple days.  It didn’t work.  I began to hemorrhage again…and again.  I was taken into surgery to try to remove what they thought were placental fragments left behind from the c-section, which should solve the bleeding…and it did…for a little while.  I hadn’t had any bleeding for a couple days, so they decided I could go home.  We were home for about 10 hours and it happened again, this time worse than the last and I was in unbearable pain!  Back to the emergency room.  We were admitted again where the doctors tried different medications and injections, and to be honest, were a little stumped at why this was happening.  At this point, I was at 13 units of blood that had been transfused and the doctor’s were running out of options.

The doctors came in to have the discussion we were dreading throughout this entire nightmare.  They said at this point there was only one option left…a hysterectomy.  I was at a point where my body could only handle one more blood transfusion before it would start shutting down.  It was my life or my ability to have more babies.  At this point I was in denial and in such a fog (probably Fentanyl induced).  I was trying to grasp for any way to not have to go that route, but both Scott and the rest of my family knew that it was the only way for them not to lose me…baby Liam needed me…they needed me.

So on September 25th, our fourth wedding anniversary, I was wheeled into the operating room one more time.  They re-opened my c-section incision and removed my uterus.  I received that 14th unit of blood during the surgery (at this point my entire body’s blood volume had been replaced), and I escaped with my life.

It was a very long recovery, both physical and emotional.  It was traumatizing, humiliating and very hard to talk about.  Only some of our closest friends and family even knew that we had been in the hospital for almost a month, let alone that I had almost died.  Our hopes of having a big family, to have more babies was gone.

So we decided to focus all of our love and attention on the one BIG blessing that we got from all of this, and that was that we had our beautiful, healthy Liam Bradley and we had each other.

Since then, we’ve traveled a lot with our family of three.  Liam has been to Dallas, Phoenix, Denver, all over New Mexico, Boston, Baltimore, Hawaii, Paris, London, and Disney World 5 times! He has his own passport and is already collecting stamps.  He is a little traveler by nature (may be a genetic trait…just saying). The hardest part of our trips now, is that he gets lonely.  He wants to play with other kids.  He doesn’t have a partner in crime to experience being a kid with.  He has cousins and he has friends, but at the end of the day, when it’s just us at home, we can tell he is lonely and it’s heartbreaking.

Now a couple years down the road, Liam is starting to ask that question that hurts to hear, “Mama, Liam have it baby sister?” (He repeatedly tells us he wants a baby sister named pants!  He is very definite about it too.  Lol!) We’ve had the baby itch for a while and it’s hard to watch all of our friends having more babies.  To be honest, we are constantly surrounded by new babies and bombarded with social media posts of friends that are expecting.  It is so hard, because we are happy for them yet our hearts are aching at the same time.

After a lot of thought, we have decided that Liam NEEDS a baby brother or sister and we are determined to give him that.  We’ve discussed adoption, but we just aren’t there yet.  We truly believe that it is a calling to be adoptive parents and to be honest, we haven’t felt called to do that.  We get the “why don’t you adopt?” question A LOT from people who know our situation, and to be honest, right now it’s just not in our hearts.  It’s also very expensive and can be a VERY LONG process, especially if you want to adopt a baby.  This may be hard for some people to understand.  Maybe we will get there someday, but maybe not.

So we’ve started exploring other options, and fortunately, when the doctor’s performed my hysterectomy, they left my beautiful ovaries behind.  Which means, that we still have all of the ingredients to make another beautiful baby, we just don’t have the oven!

We have met with a wonderful fertility specialist in Albuquerque and are moving forward with the in vitro fertilization process to create our next baby.  Which brings us to the hardest part of our journey moving forward, the oven part.  We are actively looking for a loving woman to carry our next baby.  If you know anything about the IVF process, you know that it is not a cheap process…and if you know anything about the gestational carrier (surrogacy) process (and most people don’t), you know that it can be an outrageous financial and emotional burden.  We have had a few people that have considered carrying our baby, but ultimately decided that they couldn’t do it, which is understandable.  It’s not an easy decision with a lot of complexities involved and it is A LOT to ask of somebody.

So, we have been praying that God would send us the right person to give us the biggest blessing that we could receive by being a carrier of our baby.  We know that it is a huge undertaking for someone to commit to and it is also requires a lot of faith on our part to trust someone else with caring for our unborn baby.

This is where we are at in the process, and we just ask that you please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and maybe sometime soon Liam will get to be a big brother.

XOXO,

Steph, Scott, & Liam Achen

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”                                                                                                     2 Corinthians 12:9

We flew from Melbourne, Australia to Aukland, New Zealand. Going to New Zealand was not originally on our itinerary, however, since we decided to leave Southeast Asia early we decided to give it a go. Since it was a last minute add, we really didn't know what to expect.

While we were on our road trip in Australia, we had met a really nice Kiwi that had told us about a hop- on hop-off bus tour company called Stray that came highly recommended. We figured we'd had enough driving, so a bus tour would be a hassle free way to get around and a way to meet other travelers.

We spent the first day wandering around Aukland and getting ready for the bus tour that would be taking us all over the North island. We weren't super impressed with Aukland, but we did have really delicious burgers at a place called Velvet Burger.

The next morning we had to be up bright and early to catch our bus. When the bus pulled up, the driver stepped off to help us load our bags. He had a huge smile on his face, long dreadlocks, and no shoes. He introduced himself as “Splash.” From that point on we knew the tour would be awesome!

Our first stop was at this amazing hot water beach (Hahei). Everyone digs holes in the sand that fill up with really hot water. It was like having a natural hot tub with a killer view. After we left the beach we went for a hike down to Cathedral Cove. It was beautiful. That night we had a big barbecue at the hostel and got to know some of the other people from our bus.

The next morning we were up bright and early headed for a little town called Raglan which is known for amazing surfing beaches. Unfortunately, when we arrived the surf was flat and it started to rain. So instead of paying to rent surf gear we decided to hike down to an awesome waterfall.

That night we stayed at a place called Solescape. It was up in a forest area with a funky vibe. The room we stayed in was an old train caboose car. However, the room didn't exactly keep the bugs out, so we had a couple visits from some critters throughout the night, but luckily escaped unharmed.

The next morning we were in for one of the best adventures we've had on our trip. Some friends of ours, Beth and Steve from back home, had told us that we absolutely had to go black water rafting. We had been looking forward to it since it was one of the options on our tour. The Waitomo caves in New Zealand have water that run through them and also have lots of glow worms that light up the insides of the caves like stars. So, we signed up for the rafting which basically consist of floating through the caves in the dark on some tubes and looking at glowworms. Well, it would be our luck that it rained the entire night before flooding out the cave used for tubing. However, the company offered us another option to do a repelling/caving/rock climbing adventure in another cave filled with waterfalls. We were a little nervous at first since neither one of us had ever done any of the previously mentioned activities, and they warned that it could involve crawling through some pretty small places (I would not recommend this activity to people afraid of heights or claustrophobia). It turned out to be a blast and we only had a couple minor hiccups with some small spaces.

That evening we were in for a cultural experience. We got to visit a Maori family that hosts stray groups on their Madi(home). They performed some traditional songs and dances for us as we'll as taught all the men the Haka and the women a song and Dance. Dinner was followed by storytelling and a giant slumber party in their traditional meeting room. It was a fun time. They especially loved Scott and insisted on calling him “Alan” because they thought he looked like the guy from the Hangover. They also took about fifty pictures with him.

The next day we headed to a fun town Roturua, where we decided to hop off the bus and stay a couple days. This is where we said our goodbyes to our new buddy Splash. We thought it would also be goodbye to the friends we met on the bus, but it turns out we would end up meeting back up with everyone further on the tour.

Roturua was a lively town. We enjoyed going to a mud bath and sulphur spa. The only downside was smelling like sulphur for a couple days, but it felt great to relax in the tub. We also took a tour of Hobbiton, which is where The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit were filmed. The hobbit hole doors were meticulously decorated and we got to have a beer in the pub after the tour. It was definitely worth going to for the scenery.

After a couple days in Roturua, we hopped on the next Stray bus that came through town. Our second Stray driver, Weeman, ended up being our best buddy by the end of our trip.

We headed to a lodge that sits on the edge of a beautiful lake, where we were hosted by another wonderful Maori family. It was a very peaceful place. I got to learn how to make Maori fry bread. We were served a huge Hangi feast that had been cooked in a fire pit. After dinner Scott went eel fishing.

The next day we headed to a mountain lodge called Blue Duck Lodge (Whakahoro). I opted to do a three hour horse trek up a mountain, while Scott opted for skeet shooting and axe throwing. The scenery was amazing!

The next day we headed to a National Park, where we made a trek across the Tongariro Crossing. It was a 20k, 7 hour trek up a volcano and down the other side. We were sore, but felt accomplished when it was over.

The next day we headed down to Wellington for a last night of fun with our friends from Stray.

The next day we flew down to Queenstown where spent the last few days in New Zealand. We stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the lake. We spent a lot of time unwinding, and also enjoying Fergburgers. Yum!

Our time in New Zealand was amazing, but not quite as amazing as the souvenir we brought home with us!

2014 will definitely be our next big adventure!